I really am super excited about the sleep part tho. (Not more than seeing my family but enough that I want to elaborate) I honestly can’t remember the last time I slept. Between being up with Easton for obvious reasons and Madileigh’s not-so-cute habit of staying up into the wee hours, I am beyond sleep-deprived. The funny thing is, I never cared much for sleep. I've battled insomnia my whole life (with periods where it was minimal to times when it was just plain awful); and being a morning person, I was usually up by 7 a.m. anyway. During my pregnancy, as my belly grew, sleep became uncomfortable, but I never felt any intense need for it.
And then Easton was born. I remember thinking in those first days - not about his safety, not about his tiny size, not about feeling like I had forgotten everything - but about the sudden, definite loss of sleep. Just like that. One day I was barely dilated and by noon the next day I had kissed sleep good-bye forever. It was such a dreadful, permanent feeling. It made me feel so powerless.
That has to be the worst thing about having a baby - something I never even cared for before, something that had almost been an enemy, was now so hopelessly gone and so unattainable that it killed me. The lack of sleep didn't make me a bitter, uninterested mom, but by about 5 weeks it had frayed my nerves so that by the time Johnny would get home from work I was exhausted, cranky and immensely annoyed that he had the nerve, the nerve, to walk in and declare he was tired and needed a few minutes to himself.
What? I had no sleep; I spend my days with 2 precious little monsters who fight sleep so much that they both end up exhausted and screeching, but refusing to shut their eyes; I stay so busy with trying to keep Easton happy and comfortable while entertaining my wild child that I hardly have time to bathe or eat or think or workout and he dares to act like he has greater need or reason to rest?? Please.
The battle for sleep is still raging. Johnny takes a lot of liberties with this, meaning that on days when it's fair game, when we're both off of work and therefore equally responsible for baby care, he stays sleeping with Madileigh and it's me that's up at every feeding… again.
Anyway, I digress. It seems my little wish is coming true and the kids and I are going home for a week! Yes!!! A week of relaxation, help and babysitters! I cant wait to get my hair done, enjoy some playtime outside of the house with the princess and, of course, sleep!!! I cant wait to hear Grayson laugh and squeal and watch him dance! I cant wait to see Karlynn's beautiful little chunky face smile!! I cant wait to see my new nephew Eli for the first time and I cant wait to talk to Nanny and introduce her to her 5th GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILD!! That is such a blessing to me!!
Mississippi here we come!!!
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