Madileigh Moments Monday!

GOOD OLE LIPSTICK! =)

As Much As She Needs Me: 

I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep; Madileigh's feet were too hot on my leg and my stomach hurt (when will I learn that milk doesn't agree with me?). I padded out to the kitchen and started playing on the computer. Half an hour later, Madileigh woke up and started whining for me.

I don't know when things shifted, when my feelings about her pre-dawn waking changed. If she'd awakened in the night like this a few months ago, when the time I had to myself was whittled down to less than an hour a day, surely we would've had one of our horrible scenes where I'd sit and cry and want to soak in the bath tub for hours uninterrupted with the door locked and head phones on while Johnny tried to tackle dealing with a non sleeping infant.

But now Easton sleeps through the night and even goes to bed at a regular time so I have a little Mommy time in the evening. So instead I went in and gladly soothed her, feeling almost nostalgic. Things just aren't the same. Instead of seeing an endless string of wakeful nights ahead of me, I wonder how many more times she'll need me like this. It can't be too many more. Enough to count on two hands? A few dozen maybe?

It feels so amazing, to be needed. To have my priority clear in front of me; to know how important I am. Her breath slowed down and evened out as I stroked her hair. Her skin was meltingly soft and warm. She wanted me close to her, more than anything else in the world. How many more times in my life will I get so lucky?

Procrastination at its Best!

Last week I saw this quote circulating on Facebook.

The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.

– Steven Furtick

So true.

Yesterday was a difficult day.  It was one of those days where Madileigh woke up in the best mood ever and then for about 4 hours until her daddy got home she just outright refused to listen or follow directions.  When I asked her to put on her shoes, she threw them across the room.  If I asked her not to touch something, she grabbed it and ran.  She jumped on her brother (who for some reason seems to loves this type of attention) after being told to be gentle more times than I can count.  No amount of warnings or timeouts would make her change her behavior.  By 4pm, my “scary mommy eyes” were out and I was yelling.  I’m not proud of it, but I had snapped.  I hate yelling, but lately it’s the only way Madileigh will even semi-pay attention.  In essence, I was throwing my own little tantrum, which got us nowhere.


Then today it wasn't much better. Val and the kids came over and of course Madileigh and Grayson were on a tear. Then I saw her literally jerk his head back by his hair. She knows this hurts because she freaks out to the point of losing all self control if Easton so much as tugs her hair a little bit. Upon her punishment she did as she has been for last couple of weeks and went in her room and locked the door. 

After I finally got the kids to take a nap, I thought about how I should have handled the day differently yesterday. Today I spanked her when she pulled Grayson's hair like that and it was effective because she was more embarrassed than anything. But yesterday, I was embarrassed at how my behind-the-scenes self had acted.  I began to think about my friends who appear to have so much patience with their kids and how they would have handled it, but I quickly realized that I was comparing myself to their highlight reel, and the more I thought about it, that isn’t fair to me no matter how badly I may have acted.  I was comparing my behavior to the times that I have actually seen them interact with their kids, which is far from the full picture.  In reality, who knows how their behind-the-scenes self would have handled it, I only know their highlight reel.  Or, at least, that’s what comes to mind when I think of them.

I feel that often I look for the fun and entertaining side in motherhood, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it becomes a problem when I skip writing about topics because I can’t find a funny or entertaining side.  It didn’t start out that way, but I feel like that’s what happened over the past couple months when I sit down to write a blog post.  The truth is, sometimes motherhood (or parenthood) just isn’t funny or entertaining.  Sometimes it’s just hard.  Yesterday was one of those hard days.  I don’t want this blog to be a sugar-coated version of motherhood, I want it to be real.  And the reality is, there will be times where you think you handled a situation poorly and will want a do-over, but all you can do is go to sleep that night and promise to make the next day better.

The antics yesterday would definitely not make my highlight reel, but I know that I have a highlight reel.  There are times when I have loads of patience, my toddler is well-behaved, and I look like I have it all together.  It has happened.  Maybe somewhere, at some point, someone has compared themselves to my highlight reel.  Little does that person know, my behind-the-scenes self has scary mommy eyes and yells to get the attention of her toddler.

So here comes more resolutions - (Procrastination at its best!) 

-Stop focusing on everyone else’s highlight reel and focus on my own behind-the-scenes parenting self.  I really need to keep the scary mommy eyes and raised voice in check.  Avoiding everyone else’s highlight reel will be nearly impossible hard, but I need to make the attempt.

-Occasionally blog about the rough parts of motherhood, which means not skipping over a topic that isn’t funny or entertaining.  Perhaps I can use this blog as a way to find support and suggestions from time to time! 

So there you go, from someone who likes to procrastinate – not one, but two New Years resolutions, 27 days late.

I Am From.....

I am so in love with my little minis!!! They are my whole heart and I cannot believe the rapid rate they are growing. Easton is 6 months old today. A whole half of a year. Stop. Seriously? Where did my little baby go? He is doing so much and learning so fast! Madileigh is really starting to take a big interest in him learning how to play... the way she wants of course! Yesterday she spent a good amount of time holding his hands and teaching him to sit and stand all while saying "You can do it Eeson.... I am soooo froud (proud) of you!" Oh and her other new thing now that he is mobile is to coax him down the hall into her room! She will literally lay in her doorway saying "C'Mon EEson... Come play in my rooooooom!!!" Talk about the little enabler! I wish she would just let him be little but at the same time I am so thankful that she loves him enough to spend this time with him even now!

It really is just mind boggling as I sit here and try to think about how fast the time has gone by! I remember the first smile, the first time we played outside, the first bath, the first time Madi gave him bruise, the first time he slept through the night, the first time he scooted off the rug by himself, the first time that little infectious giggle kicked up and now here he is trying to sit up and take off on all fours. My itty bitty baby is becoming a crawler. Pretty soon he will move up a whole picture on the side of the baby snacks. (Mommy's will know what I mean.)

But even tho I cant get over half of a finger big... Try a whole 2 and a half fingers big. Really?? My little sweet innocent baby girl. Im telling you that Madileigh is just a mess and a blessing in herself. She is starting to become very verbal and very observant at the same time! (Also a mess and a blessing) The things she says are absolutely hilarious! She gives us our daily laughs for sure! 

So, as I was thinking about blogging today, I started thinking about these two and a half years with my little princess and I wrote this for her. This is where we are in life right now. A list of the things that she says and does with us and as a family. I pray one day that she repeats these things and remembers doing them as a kid and this is for her to read back on and know that so many of the things I tell her and show her and do with her are the same things that I remember hearing and doing as a kid. These are things that stop me in my tracks and give me that awkward moment where you realize your mother's voice just came out of your mouth. These are the moments to be remembered. Some little things that can be carried on. The moments I cherish and some of  the moments I will always always smile back on.  

I Am From...

I am from hand me downs and recycled toys.

I am from newsprint on silly putty and spit up covered rugs from tummy time.

I am from comforter forts and flashlights.

I am from "This little light of mine..."

I am from a home where little brothers are awesome and adored!

I am from hot tempers and quick fuses.

I am from kneelers and holy Bibles and stories with more questions than answers.

I am from a home that believes in the freedom of the American dream.

I am from the hands of a mother showing me "here’s the church here’s the steeple".

I am from chests and drawers filled with locks of hair in envelopes and every saved holiday and birthday card.

I am from paintings of splatter and macaroni and Elmer’s glue artwork. 

I am from hand made holiday gifts and memories of smiles in photographic form.

I’m from “I’ve got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart.. Where??”

I am from frugal and long-lived, stubborn and tender.

I am from the never forgets and the rarely forgives.
I am from the quick to laugh at nothing. 
(Or cry at everything.)

I am from the butterfly bush and “The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar”.  

I am from pallet parties and staying up late.

I am from cupcakes and cookies and homemade birthday cakes.

I am from a closet to hide in filled with good ghosts and laughter. 

I am from pine needles in bare feet and sappy trunks for climbing.

I am from dressing up and high heels and fake food for breakfast from my play kitchen.

I am from midnight cuddles and small wonders.

I am full of toddler tales.

I am from a great great grandmother who they say I get my loudness from. 
(Just as my mother did before me).

I am from Who Dat games in the living room floor with a jersey that matches my Mommy.

I am from runs to the bay and feeding the ducks and walks to the landing and sunsets on the beach.

I am from swinging on the swing set and playing with my puppy Mickey Mouse.
I am from "Because I said so, That's why!"

I am from refusal to nap and M&M’s snacks.

I am from crayons left melting in the sun, colored Kool-Aid ice cubes and tying a sheet to the box fan to play pirates in the hallway.

I am from Magnolia Ave SE where my parents brought me home.

I am from the yard with my own queen seat tree carved with my "M", (the same tree my brother will learn to pee behind).

I am from lullabies and starry ceiling night lights.

I am from honesty and "thou shalt not lie..."

I am from fairytales and Bible stories.

I am from favorite movies of Toy Story and Rio and Tinkerbelle to hot dog dances with Mickey Mouse.

I am from grudge holders and people pleasers.

I am from “Guess what? Chicken butt!”

I am from baptism and believing and falling and receiving.

I am from General Mills with a prize inside.

I am from family trips to the beach to stick my toes in the sand and run salt water through my hands.

I am from “thunder thighs” and “where the horse bites the apple.”

I am from a home where shouting is fun!

I am from “slick chick” and “sassy britches”.

I am from pink painted walls and a hundred baby dolls.

I am from picture filled baby books and height markers on the wall.

I am from “family is everything” and Bless your meals.

I am from the not-so-calm, rushed and prone to yelling.

I am from colorful bows and tutus.

I am from “You Are My Sunshine!”

I am from love and laughter and all that life has to give.

I am from possibilities and chances and dreams and wishes. 
I am from a home where we love to the moon and back.

I am from a little girl who was once like me and never knew she would be so big so fast and be so completely happy.


Here are a couple of recent videos of the kiddos made over the last couple days:

 I don't know where she gets this stuff!

 He is getting too big!

 Gettin up but just can't get going!!

Lil enabler trying to get her brother into trouble lol!

Twice Baked Potato Casserole

All You Need:

-5 pound bag Russet potatoes.

-About 10 Slices of Bacon. 

(The thick slice packs have the perfect amount!)

-8 oz Cream Cheese

-1/2 Cup Butter 

-1 Cup Sour Cream 

-1/4 Cup Mined Chives

-2 Tsp Salt

-1/2 Tsp Pepper

Directions:

Boil potatoes and drain. 

(I peeled mine because they had sprouts but any other time I would leave the skin!)

When those are getting close to being done, Cook Bacon is skillet;

Pat it dry with paper towel and let it cool.

When it is cooled, crumble into bits!

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mash your potatoes and add the cream cheese, butter, & sour cream

then stir until smooth!

Add chives, Cheddar, half the Bacon, salt and pepper.

Stir those in until well blended and transfer to baking dish.

Top with remaining cheese & bake 25 to 30 minutes.

Garnish with remaining bacon.

**(I Broiled it for about 3 minutes before I took it out to brown the cheese a little bit)**

Madileigh Moments Monday!

Always Listening:

I always tell Madileigh to never ever leave Mommy and always stay close! Even when we are just playing at the house I still tell her so if we are out and about she will know! Well she likes to get under blankets and stuff and she gets a big kick out of me and Johnny saying “Where’d Madi go?” “She was just right here!” And then she just pops out of nowhere and says “Here I am!!” Well today I was washing dishes and Johnny was in the living room with Easton and Madileigh started hiding under the blanket. Johnny saw her first so he said “Hey Leigh, where did Madi go?” I said “I don’t know, she was just playing in the floor… I hope she didn’t run away!!” And then she popped out of that blanket, ran to the kitchen and wrapped her arms around my legs and said “I never leave you Mommy. I right here!!” MELT. MY. HEART. It is a wonderful feeling knowing that your babies listen and understand! 

Too Much TV:
The other morning I was playing in the bedroom and trying to get Easton dressed when I hear "Mommy.... COME HERE.... AHHHHH!!!" Me, thinking that a spider had bit her or she broke her dad gum leg or threw up everywhere and couldn't find a place to step, took off running to her leaving Easton to roll off the bed only to find her smiling as she pointed to the tv and told me "Mommy, ITS MICKEY MOUSE... I CAN NOT BELIEVE IT!!!" (she gets that from little Einstein's) But really. Really. Heart attack much???

"Oh bother....."

You just never know what is going to upset a toddler, and better yet, something could bother them one day and not the next.  No way to really know.  Or maybe it is just my finicky toddler?  Each day is testing the waters to see what new thing will be met with “Stop” or “No more Mommy”.  Everything needs to be done in a certain way – her way. Everything has a place and order to it, but only she can know what it is. 

For example:

-Moving a toy from the middle of the living room that she hasn’t touched in at least a day = kicking, screeching, flailing meltdown.

-Taking my cell phone back from her after she has taken it from a place high enough that I never even thought she could reach = crying real tears meltdown.

-Another child attempting to touch her shirt because it has a cute animal on it = the end of the world is coming meltdown (never mind that she almost tackled said child 3 minutes before for the exact same reason… Dang Minnie Mouse.)

-Not allowing her to carry the bag out of the store because it is too heavy for her = meltdown to the point that we need to leave the store immediately and people are holding the door for us on the way out, shaking their heads in awe.

So why is it that this is no problem at all?  Yep, her shoes are on the wrong feet.  She does this constantly.  Then gets upset when I try to put each shoe on the right foot.  She does know how the shoes are supposed to go, so that isn’t the issue.  I can tell her “Madileigh, put your shoes on the right feet”, and after some protest she will change them to the right feet.    I mean, wouldn’t this hurt after a while (or right away)?  She has actually run up to me at the end of the day like this when she was still at daycare, and I think it is fair to assume that they had been that way for a while.  Why is she so content like this, when everything else has to be in its perfect place?

An enigma wrapped in a riddle I tell you.

The Truth About Running....

I don’t always like running, and by “don’t always like,” I mean I sometimes sort of hate running. Period. It hurts and it makes my lungs and my legs burn.  I feel like I just can’t take one more step.

However, one of the good things about running is that you have to make it back to your home/car or wherever you started.  So... Instead of giving up I just keep on running because, true story, walking those two miles back would take too long and would make me very miserable... Plus I don't need to think that long by myself... That would be dangerous! 

Anyway, as soon as I’m done running, I always feel like a million bucks — no, I feel like fifty million bucks — and I’m happy that I actually did it even tho I spent hours before the run talking myself out of going.  “It wasn’t really that bad,” I can say so easily as I’m unlacing my running shoes and coiling wadding my earphones for the next run.

I started running with the understanding that runners LOVE running. (& the mere fact that baby weight is a pain and doesn't exactly lose itself despite what hollywood would have you believe.)  They talk about that endorphin high.  They run and it looks nearly effortless.  I think that maybe I’ve had a teeny, tiny taste of an endorphin high, but I know I won’t be the next poster child for how effortless running can look.  It has occurred to me on, oh, just about every occasion I’ve run, that maybe I’m not really meant to be a runner.  Maybe pilates or even bingo would be more my speed.

I keep on running, though.

I want to train to run a 10K, or 6.2 miles.  I just think I would be so proud of myself if I actually ran 6.2 miles in a race and didn't die!  It would probably even be kind of fun.  I have signed up for 5k's.  “HA!  A measly 3.1 miles!  Smugness and chuckles abound!   I could probably sprint the whole way!” I have thought to myself.

One of these days I’ll learn that smugness and chuckling never suit me well.  I felt awful during the last race.  My stride was all off, my side was cramping starting about about the half mile point.  I had to walk about four different times. But the worst part was the embarrassment I felt when the 60 year old power walker passed me and then was cheering me on at the finish line. Ouch. I wanted to be the one cheering her on.

Running longer distances takes time and it’s time that is inconvenient for the rest of my family.  I feel guilty when I leave to run in the evenings when it’s “cooled off” (yes, the quotes are necessary) and leave Johnny to handle supper time alone.  I feel guilty when I wake up early on a Saturday morning to run and leave Johnny to handle our ravenous daughter demanding pancakes when I know he has a list a mile long of things to around the house. But often times it results in my pushing of about 60 lbs. as I run!

There are parallel lessons between life and running, I just know there are.  Some days are great while other days are nothing but crap of a cracker.  Even though I sometimes sort of hate it while I’m doing it and I feel guilty for doing something for myself, I keep doing it.  When I haven’t run in a few days, I find myself craving it, the feel of my feet against the pavement, my face red with effort, with beads of sweat dripping down my back.  Just the simple illusion of being a non baby fat, non infant-hippo-looking mom! At the same time I’m craving it, the “you don’t really need to go today, do you?” talk starts in my head.

So I grab my running shoes and go before I can talk myself out of it.

FRIENEMY = AWESOME.

Madi + Leigh = Madileigh. 

Friend + Enemy = Frienemy. 

There is great relation here.

He'll be terrified of his walker at this rate!! 

When I looked around the Internet for the “official” definition of this new word, I found so many different interpretations, but there is no doubt that it is a word, better yet a world, between love and hate.  This is exactly how I feel about discipline.

Me: "Say cheese Madi", Her: "No Mom. I dot my PHONE."

For months Madileigh has been acting like a little bully and will not listen to me. She literally ignores me most of the time and she is pretty darn good at just strait pretending she doesn’t hear me. I don’t like one single bit the way she steals Easton’s toys and then when I catch her she pretends she was just wiping it off for him so he could put it in his mouth. Or sometimes she gets the nerve to take food on my carpet and when I catch her I’ll say “Madi get that food right back to your table right now…..1…….2…..” and amazingly somehow, right before I get to 3, she stuffs her face and tries to talk telling me that “She don’t got no more.”

My sweet happy baby! =) God please don't give him attitude!

Really? So because I do not find this behavior cute and the apparent counting and spankings are suddenly not affective, I started instituting time-outs. Today, or just for the morning rather. One or two minutes to calm down, reflect, and stop whatever she was doing.  Okay, maybe not reflect, but enough time for her to calm down and stop the bad behavior.

Problem is, that I have already brought it up to our pediatrician and he quickly dismissed the idea. He told me that she didn’t have the cognitive ability to fully understand and modify accordingly. He said that he did think that timeouts may work for a while but that it would be more her learning a routine, sort of the way it was with counting, and that eventually she would dismiss that too. He suggested that I not start the timeouts until about 3 years so that they would be more affective and not short lived. I agreed and the matter was tabled.  Time-outs did not occur at home.

Dance-A-Lot-Robot! =) Easton thinks she dances like her Mommy! 

Now I am at a stand still. She really only does this behavior on certain days and it is usually on my first day off when she is demanding my attention which must be shared. Sometimes I want to cut her a break because for 2 whole years it was just her, and me, every morning, every evening and I know that she needs that one on one time. This hitting, kicking, and biting might be a part of the terrible twos, but they aren’t acceptable.  I have to do something.  Fast.  The dog and Easton are depending on me and my sanity is dwindling.

So, 6 months after that doctor’s visit, I changed my mind. Enter, the time-out.  If Super Nanny can do it, so can I, right?  I quickly found a place in our house to perform this ritual – the old chair I had once painted for my dorm room.  It wasn’t long until I got a chance to use it either.  Today just happens to be my first day off. I sat Madileigh on the chair and explained what was happening.  Easton looked on in horror as I blocked Madileigh (the flailing, crying, screeching mess she had become) from leaving time-out.  Unfortunately, there may not be a lot of time-outs this weekend, or even today.

"I say cheese now Mom."

I feel that it’s important to interject here how much I utterly abhor giving Madileigh time-outs or spankings for that matter.  I am away from her all day long when I’m at work, the last thing I want to do when I get home is discipline her.  That is our time to have fun.  I would rather go on a walk with her, read books, sit at the bar and attempt a conversation about her day, or just watch a movie with her.  I hate that so much of my day has already been dedicated to the count down before giving a time-out/spanking.  I feel that I have repeated, “1-2-3″ more than we have even talked today. But in fairness, she isn’t really all that receptive to talking when she is behaving this way.

Go big boy Go!

I hate to say this, but time-outs don’t work for us.  No denying it.  After a time-out I can’t even get Madileigh calm down enough to listen.  From there I can’t get the desired behavior or an apology for the inappropriate behavior.  So I sat her down and tried to have a heart to heart. We painted together because that always seems to mellow us both out and I looked up a book on the Internet about loving and taking care of your siblings. During Easton’s naptime, we read it together and she loved it! And since then, and I’m sure only for the remainder of the day, we don’t even get to the discipline part; she has adjusted her behavior after I hit the number 2 in my 1-2-3 count down and she has been apologizing… Even to Easton.  It really is astonishing.  I really just think the good ole count down to a spanking is more effective in our house. I wish it weren’t true, because that would allow me to say, “Oh, they just don’t work for her” and I wouldn’t have to go through the agony of doing them in our house.  I truly loathe them and love them at the same time.

She has got the headband idea all wrong! =)

But in the end I guess it has been a super eventful day thus far. Good thing my whole house was up before 7! But a learning day is a good day in my book! And I know something truly positive will come of this because as I am finishing my writing, Madileigh is putting Easton in time-out for putting Ariel’s hair in his mouth. Grose. She said and I quote: “No Eeson. Dat my UURIAL and you make her wet. Yuck. Mommy said you time out. 1…2…3…ok” and then she proceeded to roll him to the corner! Also, I would like to establish now that I am not going to time-out and I will laugh hysterically the day she tries to put Johnny and her grandparents in time-out.

Goodmorning sunshine!

I’m just hoping that we don’t start going backwards in a couple of hours when her grandparents get here to spoil her! =)

Zesty Italian Chicken! (In the Crock-pot)

That's right! Another super easy and super delicious crock pot recipe! However, my meal planning for next week will have to include more vegetables even tho I have enjoyed every recipe sent to me that I have tried! I still have a few more to try so just bear with me! =) & enjoy!! 

All You Need:

-4 Chicken Breasts

-1 Pack Zesty Italian Dressing

-1 (8oz) Cream Cheese

-2 Cans Cream of Chicken Soup

Just throw all these ingredients in the crock pot (no need to even thaw your chicken) 

and cook on low for about 6 hours! 

(Depending on your crock pot... Some may not take as long!) 

Serve over whatever pasta noodles you have in the pantry! 

**If the sauce is too think just add a little milk at a time, while stirring, until it gets to where you like it! Remember, you can always add but you can't take away so add the milk slowly!!**

Little Heroes of Mine!

I woke up this morning glad that I could be here when my babies get up. (Im working the evening shift). But I got up before them. I stared at each of them, took a picture of how beautiful they sleep, read my page in 'Jesus Calling', a devotion book I got for Christmas and then sat down with my coffe. I decided to look up Tripp's blog and check on his progress. And then I was brought to tears. 

For a long time now I have been following the story of baby Tripp and his struggle to hold on. In a way I guess I was drawn to his story after knowing the pain of a child's death after sweet Karson. His mother is incredibly strong as is most women I know who have lost a child. Her words and her faith are inspiring. I have shared her blog a few times and can't possibly imagine (and pray I never have to) be in her shoes and have the conviction she possesses. God used her and baby Tripp to touch many lives. More lives than they could have imagined. 

This makes me think of sweet Karson every time. I look at my brother and Val sometimes and just don't know how they go on but they do. And they don't put it behind them. They remember and they feel it and yet they are raising two babies and loving life with smiles on their faces. Karson is still a favorite subject and his stories come up every time one of these babies does something he did. He will never be forgotten. God sends families like theirs and like Tripp's to be secret missionaries. I truly believe this. It takes a special heart to keep breathing after having to endure the unthinkable in laying your baby to rest. God chooses these hearts very carefully and then he wraps his arms around them and keeps them beating.

Karson and Tripp and all sweet innocent babies like them who are taken all too soon are heroes. Because through their short time here they helped so many people to see that God's plans and purposes are higher than our own. While we are on earth we need to love and care for each other. They are my heroes for giving me a fresh outlook, each time I think of them, on our life's purpose, on what matters most... loving Chirst and loving others!

When Karson was taken from us, I remember Val telling me not to take a single day for granted. I remember that look in her eyes and when you see such truth behind words you can't help but silently promise yourself that you will strive with all you have to love those around you with all you have. The wonderful giggles and happy memories make me excited for the time when we can celebrate with Karson again.

 

These stories are powerful and never forgotten. Stories like this make reality seem almost neat, purposeful, meaningful, and that's one of the reasons why our brains love stories. In each of these the details may change so that it sounds like a new story. Like the sudden unknown passing of sweet Karson and the struggle and strength to hold on of sweet Tripp. But every story has a theme. Its is a journey or quest for a mother to find comfort and mercy and strength. It is good vs evil. It is trial vs triumph. 

These stories give us faith that God is in control and that we should celebrate the amazing and short life these precious angels lived. It is hard when such tragedy hits to see the bigger picture and it is amazing when people are able to do that. I was not. When Karson died, I remember Val having to tell me when I was the one with all the doubt "that God only takes the best." and that "Karson was too perfect for this world." It is hard to understand the joy of the situation knowing that there is no more pain, no more suffering, no more doubt. Just the love of a Father with the little ones he loves. I remember singing "Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak but he is strong!" over and over and over to Madileigh. We are His. We are always and forever His children and we must trust with all our heart that His plan for lives will be right and well in the end. 

I have a heart for people who are hurting and I can't imagine the physical pain Tripp's mother feels today as she has to lay her sweet baby to rest. She shared her baby's story with the world not knowing the effect it would have. She touched many lives and many people are praying for her strength and peace. She was always honest about her faith and where she stood and the questions she had. This honesty is appreciated and admired by all who came to know Tripp's story. 

This is one of my favorites bands and a song I heard this week, which seems all too appropriate now:

All Who are Thirsty

~Kutless

All who are thirsty

All who are weak

Just come to the fountain

Dip your heart in the stream of life

Let the pain and the sorrow

Be washed away

In the waves of His mercy

As the deep cries out to deep

We sing, come Lord Jesus, come

Come Lord Jesus, come

Come Lord Jesus, come

Come Lord Jesus, come

All who are thirsty

All who are weak

Just come to the fountain

Dip your heart in the stream of life

Let the pain and the sorrow

Be washed away

In the waves of His mercy

As the deep cries out to deep

We sing, come Lord Jesus come

Come Lord Jesus, come

Come Lord Jesus, come

Come Lord Jesus, come

Come Lord Jesus, come

(Won't You come?)

(Won't You come?)

Nothing but Your will for me

I am only free in You

Nothing but Your will for me

I am only free in You, God

Come Lord Jesus, come

(Nothing but Your will for me)

(I am only free in You)

Come Lord Jesus, come

(Nothing but Your will for me)

(I am only free in You)

Come Lord Jesus, come

(Nothing but Your will for me)

(I am only free in You)

Come Lord Jesus, come

He who testifies to these things says,

"Yes, I am coming soon."

Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.

~Revelation 22:20